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Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of pain.
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Chuck Norris Jokes...
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars thats why there is no life there.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
Google no longer runs searches on Chuck Norris
You dont find chuck norris,
Chuck Norris finds you!
You dont find chuck norris,
Chuck Norris finds you!
Admin- Admin
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Join date : 2009-02-13
Age : 38
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires. 
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Admin- Admin
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Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet Chuck Norris is on.
Admin- Admin
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
Location : here
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
Admin- Admin
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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
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Age : 28
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If you work in an office with Chuck Norris don't ask him for his three hole punch.
Admin- Admin
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Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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Chuck Norris eats steak for every songle meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
Admin- Admin
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Join date : 2009-02-13
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. 
jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse 
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death. 
Admin- Admin
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry!
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. 
Admin- Admin
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one from Chuck Norris.
jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 
jenniferv- Posts : 11
Join date : 2009-03-09
Age : 28
Location : Clinton!
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 
J cenami13- Posts : 36
Join date : 2009-02-18
Age : 28
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds
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